Chapter by chapter

Sexta Turma da EPI - A galera que eu vou passar os proximos 5 meses com.

EPI 6th Term - the guys i’ll be spending the next 5 months with.

Junho BR - Anita BR - Rafael BR - Quincas BR - Claire UK - Jason UK - Anderson (nao na escola) - Fernando EQ

I’ve now been in Brazil for a little over 4 months, and the time out here has been interesting to say the least! It’s been interesting for numerous reasons, but the main one is that I simply could never have imagined what this time would have been like before I arrived. I mean - I had expectations, I’d heard stories, I had contacts and a ‘pinpoint’ sized idea of what I was going to be doing – but even this wasn’t preparation enough for what God had in store.

If you’re expecting stories of supernatural miracles, or some extremely deep ‘change my life in one line’ quote, I’ve got neither. What I feel I’ve been gaining since I’ve been here is experience, relationship and understanding. My eyes have been opened not just in a worldly way, but a personal, private and indescribable way – so I won’t try to describe what’s changed. What I have noticed though is how much I viewed the world through culture. Seriously, if you think you’re view of the world is ‘without blemish’ without experiencing another culture in-depth – get out. Culture is like this – a pair of glasses with lenses inches thick that we don’t realise we’re wearing. My time here has been filing down my English lenses, adding some Brazilian, and at the same time making it clearer what things are cultural, and what things aren’t. Again, I can’t really explain it, it just ‘is’.

My story since I’ve been here has been more a case of ‘self-discovery’ (sounds awfully ‘rah’ and ‘gap-year spiritual journey’, but it’s true), understanding more about myself and how I really think. In all honesty it’s been quite scary, but thankfully God is gracious and showing me areas of my life that without the experiences I’m having here probably would have gone unnoticed and unchanged. I’ve not done an awful lot, or at least it doesn’t feel like I have. I mean, I’ve been involved regularly in the worship at the Manifesto church which has been immense, I’ve been helping out in the Tribal Generation office with translating their website into English, went on trips to Peru and another city in Brazil called Aracaju, spent a week in Goiania with another Sal da Terra church, and have spent the last few weeks in the house of Alan & Enilce (who were the original family from Brazil to come to Hereford for two years in 1996).

Spending my first Christmas and New Year’s away from home was a different experience – A Christmas with sun instead of snow, with friends instead of immediate family, Brazil instead of the Barrels, and late evening instead of early morning. For the first time I started to feel a tad homesick, but don’t worry too much – I quickly got over it! ;-) But seriously now, it seems I’m at a point where I’m missing my England friends more and at the same time I’m gaining deeper friendships here – like a friendship crossover type thing.

News for the future is looking very promising. Speaking to Alexandre (one of the Pastors of the Centroeste congregation, one of Sal da Terra’s main churches), my time in the new year is going to be very busy not just with the School of Church Planting course, but also with some of the other stuff that they have planned for me. At the moment there are thoughts about being involved in their Evangelism Committee (a group of people that organise how the church is going to do their Evangelism – the more structured events), being more involved in the organisation of the Global Tribal Generation Gathering in June 2012, and have already started being involved in the worship in the Centroeste congregation. As part of this I feel it is right that I move to the Centroeste congregation as my main church, but will still aim to keep in close contact with Manifesto. The pastors of Manifesto are heavily involved in the School of Church Planting, they have their more ‘extreme’ services on Saturday nights instead of Sunday, and most of my friends are from that Church.

I can’t think of much else to write other than this. Of course, if you’re interested more in what I’m up to – feel free to write a message on Facebook, ask my parents (if you’re in Hereford, although, they’re often really bad at telling stories) or write a letter, or even ring me ( 005534 9253 2633 – it’s not that expensive!)

Prayer list, if you’re into that kinda thing – which is a really cool thing to be in to – would be Focus, Faith, Language, Friendships and Integrity. They’re all vague words, but have widespread applications in my situations at the moment. If anyone has any prophetic words or images for me, please feel free to send them my way – would be hugely appreciated!

So it’s been a while since I last blogged, about a week or so ago. I’ve been in a different city - Goiania. Originally it was just an excuse to travel at an invite of a friend through my parents, but it came at just the right time to allow and bring some healing, revelation and normality.

I’m learning more and more that God’s timing is often the best timing. Maybe not always the most helpful (well, what we might think of as ‘helpful’), the most sane, or the easiest, but is definitely the best.

This week God has spoken to me a lot. He’s given me lots of revelation about various things, and a new sense of purpose and vigour.

To be fair, this will probably last all of 3 days after which I’ll be back to a rather up and down Jason (which unfortunately has been the theme of my time in Brazil so far - been feeling totally at odds with myself). But thankfully this is OK. It’s in these situations where I’m on the mountain top that although I can see God and how great it is, I know there’s a valley that I’m going to go through.

There’s a song that I’ve been listening to a lot recently called ‘Valley’ by an amazing band called Close Your Eyes. One of the lyrics is this:

How can I forget the joy of the mountain top down in the valley?

I need to make the most of this time when I’m on the mountain top, where I’ve ascended the hill and God has descended to me. In fact, God always descends to me, I never in my own strength can ‘get’ to God. So even though when I’m in the valleys God still descends there with me, the only difference is perspective.

God’s perspective doesn’t change. God’s perspective of me doesn’t change. And it never will. There’s nothing we can do that can seperate Us from the Love of God - but we can do stuff that removes this from our focus and make it feel that way.

‘Jesus, I thank you that you call me friend. I thank you that you came down - because I sure as anything can’t make it up. God I thank you that you call me Son because of what your Son did for me. And Spirit I ask that you minister this truth to me, that I might not lose sight of my heavenly goal’…

Only for the King

Jx

After typing in the title for this blog I realised that I’d already written another one by the same title (http://jasonmarrett.tumblr.com/post/9666468071/seeing-god) and so to make myself seem more ‘with it’ I decided to keep the theme and stick ‘pt II’ at the end. I mean, you know - almost makes it sound like God’s giving me a theme about my time in Brazil without me realising it (by the way, he totally is, and it’s ace).

So, to the point.

A friend of mine that I only met for the first (official) time yesterday gave me a verse from Jeremiah 18, and to get some context I read from the beginning of the chapter (because you know - all good exegesis does this). I got as far as verse 5.

Jeremiah was told to go to the Potter’s House. This isn’t exactly the most ‘holiest’ of places really. It’s not like the temple, or the mountain, or the river, or your own ‘quiet spot’. But either way - he was told to go there.

So he went.

And he saw a potter working his clay. As you’d expect. The potter did something that a potter would do. And then something cool happened.

Vs. 5 ‘Then the word of the LORD came to me:’. This is the whole of verse 5 - but the first word is probably the most telling. God’s word to Jeremiah didn’t come straight away, God gave direction to Jeremiah. And after Jeremiah obeyed, and SAW what it was that was there THEN the word of the Lord came to him.

So we have OBEDIENCE in Jeremiah answering the direction. OBSERVANCE in Jeremiah using his eyes to see what God was saying.

If I was preparing a preach I would totally try and milk out another ‘O’ word, because 3 O’s is more perfect than 2 O’s (jokes) (post-edit - God gave me another ‘O’ word that I didn’t even know the meaning of until I looked it up online and it totally expanded my view of seeing God, see below).

I guess the part that I’m at in the moment in Brazil is the Observance. I’ve obeyed God - I’m where I (and a lot of my close friends and family) believe I should be. And I’m now observing what is going on - like a spy. (God’s showing me a load of stuff right this second that one blog really isn’t enough to write it all down in - watch out for Seeing God pt III).

And in this observing will come the ORACULAR (the idea that you see what God wants YOU to see, and to others maybe wouldn’t make sense) - the sign of the word of God that He wants to give ME.

OBEDIENCE.

OBSERVANCE.

ORACULAR.

I need to keep my eyes open.

Only for the King

Jx

I had a semi-revelationary thought yesterday, it was one of those ‘self-realising’ moments where everyone in the world and their dog has told you the fact, but it means nothing until you realise it yourself. The revelation was this - I’m feeling dissatisfied because my desire is for the wrong thing.

At the moment to be honest  my desire might have started out Godly - that is, with righteous intent, with great intentions to follow God and glorify his name - but right now what it’s turned into is something more selfish, inward looking and narrow - which is anything but Godly.

I’m pretty sure I heard God right, and I’m still pretty sure the outcome is going to be the same - the only difference is how it looks, and what my attitude towards it is. (Don’t worry - I’m being vague about what ‘it’ is on purpose).

My attitude turned from ‘God will have his way’ to ‘God will show his way in the manner I prefer’. Can you spot the difference? Both mention God’s way, but only one of them ACTUALLY means it. Because you see - as soon you put a limit on God, it’s not his way anymore. (There is a part of the christian life where you test God, but it seems this is more as a means to grow faith for a greater end - and again my theology here is sketchy).

So my desire was for ‘God will show his way in the manner I prefer’, is really code-word for selfish ‘My way made to look and sound like God’s way’. And when this happens, my desires are not Godly; they fall short of the person of God, they limit his demonstrating power, they allow for sin and narrow-expectation, and they expose my sin. And here’s the reason why I feel dissatisfied - God blesses us in the way He chooses, which is for His purpose, for His glory, Our good and Our abundance.

How does that work? Like this - when my desires are selfish I will only perceive ‘blessing’ as that which is helpful to my desires, or that which is fulfilling my desire. Then when God blesses me, He does it His way - which more often that not WON’T be in the way I thought - I don’t perceive the blessing because it doesn’t meet my desire. So this leads to me feeling not only dissatisfied but lost, out of touch, like there’s a breakdown in communication somewhere and God’s taking me through a time of ‘dryness’. Then my faith in God dwindles because I don’t see Him working or think He’s far-off or something equally as unlikely. Essentially - a selfish desire is calling God a liar, and presents a negative image of God to ourselves.

Then what? Well, we need to change our desire - at least the format of the desire. We need to be open to what God has got. We need to take God at His word, His promises to us His children and hold on to these with everything we have. When we trust that God is who He says He is, and have our desire that is His - that is, after His own heart - then something remarkable happens - we SEE and TASTE the blessing.

God is always working. Creation is always shouting God’s praise and demonstrating his glory. The difference between a selfish desire and Godly desire is our perception - when our perception is Godly we SEE what God is doing, and we TASTE the blessing he gives us every minute of every day (you’re breathing right? Then you’re being blessed. FACT).

We get a double blessing because not only are we seeing and perceiving God’s blessing, but because our hearts are turned to Him and our desires are his, he blesses even more! When I take my mind off what I want and onto God, my desire will become His and in turn my desire is fulfilled and exceeded because God is a God who gives good gifts to his children.

So when our Desire becomes His desire, our perception is that our God is a God who blesses and loves his creation with everything He has. God hasn’t changed - our perception has. It’s about becoming more like Jesus. It’s about submitting plans, procedures, thoughts, ideas to God and allowing him to write the script. We all know the basic storyline - I’m a sinner, and because of my relationship with Jesus I am saved by grace and live a life of power in the Holy Spirit - the only difference is the actual story is different for everyone.

I don’t want to limit God’s storyline for my life - I mean, I’m human, mortal, I have a FINITE mind. God has an inifinte mind and thus - I’m sure he can write a much better storyline for my life than I ever could.

Desire God’s story. It’s better. Fact.

Only for the King

Jx

Today I was going through a little bank of encouraging words and old prophecies that I’ve received over my time at University.

I stumbled across one from Lifegroup. This prophecy was slightly different, it wasn’t a ‘direct’ word from someone to me, it was written by means of a ‘game’.

The game goes like this: everyone writes a number on the top of the page, and then write down something they feel God is saying to them. Then they fold the paper over, and pass it on to the next person, who does the same again. The whole time you don’t know who you’re writing to, or what other people have written.

The first word on this sheet, which was mine, said something like this: ‘God has got great things lined up for you in the future; maybe even visiting other countries for his glory.’

Today I’m in Brazil, about 2 years after that word was written.

Hoje eu procurava atraveis alguns profecias velhas, que eu recebi quando eu estudava em Manchester.

Eu vi um que eu recebi em meu pequeno grupo. Mas, esta profecia estava um poucinho diferente. Nao estava um palavra ‘direito’ de alguem, eu recebi atraveis uma ‘joga’.

A jogo é assim: tudo mundo escrevem uma profecia na alta a pagina, entao dobram e dao por a pessoa proxima. Entao esso processo esta repetido, ate voce tem o papel que vc comecou com. O tempo tudo ninguem sabem quem voce esta escrevendo por, ou o que outras pessoas escreveram.

As primeiras palavras em minha pagina: ‘Deus tem coisas grandes por voce; talvez ainda visitando outras paises por gloria dele.

Hoje, eu to em Brasil, em torno de 2 anos depois essa profecia escrevia.

Only for the King/Somente por o Rei

Jx

So I’ve now been in Brazil just over 2 months. There’s been a severe lack of blogging simply because I’ve really not been doing that much. Seriously, I spend most of my time in the classroom on Facebook downloading old-school Christian hardcore albums, reading theology, and trying to learn more Portuguese.

Frustrating isn’t quite the word. It’s a weird time. Because of the language gap I can’t really get involved ‘involved’, and I haven’t yet made contacts which have free time during the day. Even students are different here - you can’t meet up with 4 other students at Uni a day, and still have time for Uni work, Church and socialising (how I MISS my student days) - because they have uni either in the morning or evening, and work the other, so they don’t actually have ‘free-time’. But at the same time in the conversations and interactions I’m having, I’m able to see more and understand more about the culture and the language. It’s like, Limbo with purpose.

I really don’t like waiting. It’s so, not me***

In relation to this, I wonder how King David felt when he was told he would be King, but didn’t see this happen a good number of years later? He KNEW what would happen, and what his life would be like when he would be king, but, he had to wait for it.

I guess I’m waiting for a button to be pressed somewhere. Like a ‘I’ve-been-here-long-enough-now-it’s-time-for-God-to-switch-something-on’ button and make something happen. But, at the same time I don’t think it’s going to happen. I went to a meeting yesterday with the leaders of Missao Sal da Terra. I like seeing how things work and how people debate issues. But, in short - I can understand the subject of a conversation, but have very little idea about the actual conversation. So, being there was great - but it made me realise I need to spend even longer here than maybe I thought. It’s one thing being in a meeting and making notes about what is said, it’s another seeing how things are prioritised, argued, resolved and decided over the course of a year.

I’m in Brazil to learn how the church affects the culture. These means understanding culture, language, and church. Doing this in just shy of 18 months, is almost impossible.

I really hope God isn’t calling me to spend too long out here. Is that bad?

***Suggestions, comments, queries, salutatins, valedictories, compliments, encouraging words all welcome.

Only for the King

Jx

The five-fold ministry that is laid out in the bible of Apostle, Prophet, Evangelist, Teacher and Pastor is not simply a list of occupations, or a list of things that God has blessed the church with - they are also a means for us to understand more of our Creator.

Each of the ministries has a focus - although some do run into each other - Apostle/Lead, Prophet/Speak, Evangelist/Show, Pastor/Care(Guide) and Teacher/Teach.

Why are these 5 aspects above other - highlighted for the church? I believe it’s not simply about the ministries, but also our response to them. What’s the point of an Apostle if no one will follow? What’s the point in a Prophet if no one will hear? What’s the point in an Evangelist if there’s no one who will see? What’s the point in a Pastor if everyone is well? What’s the point in a Teacher if no-one will learn?

I beleive that the responses to these ministries are highlighted because they are what God wants us to practice. God wants us to follow - because he leads us to places beyond our own means. God wants us to listen - because he speaks to us and wants relationship with us. God wants us to look - because he wants to show his unsearchable riches to us. God wants us to realise we are sick - so that he can not only heal and restore us, but also build us up and be our anchor. God wants us to learn - because he wants to teach us things we can’t access with earthly wisdom.

The 5 fold ministry displays God in the church and helps us practice our response to him. The church is more than just a place of fellowship and worship - it is the very community that is the hands and feet of God on this earth.

Church shows God.

Only for the King

Jx

All of creation cries out about God’s glory. (Psalms)

God has revealed himself in his creation. (Romans)

God is constantly sustaining the universe. (Hebrews)

‘Look at something familiar until it becomes familiar again’ (read it in a book about prayer)

Life gets in the way of us seeing God. If the third point hasn’t struck you yet - think of it like this: the only reason you are breathing this very second, the only reason the earth is still spinning on its axis, the only reason the universe isn’t collapsing, the only reason there is something and not nothing, the only reason for being and the raison d’etre for everything - is that God in this very moment through the Spirit is choosing to keep it all together. Why? Because of his grace.

Many say ‘how can there be a God with all the bad stuff in the world?’ yet forget the very concept and origin of that thought and rationale comes from the common grace of the very Creator they are questioning.

If you believe in God as creator you can believe in two things: that he created the world, left it and no longer intervenes (which is not biblical) or that he created and sustains minute by minute the universe, his creation.

The consequences of the second option (the only real option) are this: everything is a reminder of God and his grace.

Think about this for a second. Then meditate on it.

See what God is doing.

Only for the King

Jx